Orison

Turbulent undulation;
clouds roil,
vortex gathering, spitting, splitting.

"to render turbid by stirring
up sediment"

"to disturb or disquiet; irritate,
vex"

"to move or proceed turbently"

My relationship (time spent)
with you,
(30 years)
rendered disquiet
building turbidity,
unsettled in my soil (soul)


Words splatter
on rock

Serendipity.

II.

like a lightening strike;
searing of heartwood:
conflagrant feelings.

laid out,
set out,
to burn.

a wildfire in an urban interface,
encroaching on forest dwellings,
a near miss,
a well laid plan....

Words can burn
and leave a soddened charred relic.
Or words can abort,
put out,
what took 30 years to grow.

Fire roils.
Water roils.
The air roils.
turbulance
that becomes a whimper
of silence.

A death
either way.

I don;t know what to do.
Leave?
Stay?
How do I leave?
How do I stay?

III.

To lay down
on a forest floor,
needles in my back.
One hand on dirt,
one on scabrous bark,
eyes to heaven
and the undulating clouds-
gray white caps above the trees.
Waiting,


(Why won't the words convey how I feel?
Or how I think?)

Dammit.
I need the pen to stab these words
till the blood boils
and runs down my cheeks
and out my mouth...