Math Studio, 3 years later

I have written a lot about math studio.  Nothing has stirred up so much anguish and learning in my life than math studio.  Math sends my brain into a downward spiral that usually results in flee or flight.  It has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  I have had battles and struggles of gigantic proportions to just keep myself fairly calm.

The first day of math studio 3 years ago found me hiding in the bathroom crying.  Since then I've cried in many a bathroom, under a pine tree, in class, and all over the pages of this blog.  Math does not make me feel warm and fuzzy.  It sends my heart to my throat, panic to my brain, and anger and frustration to the table as I try and work math problems.

With this clouded perception it seems that everyone around me got it, except for me.  I never seemed to have enough think time to figure out a problem.  A lot of the time I never even knew where to start to figure out a problem.  I was choked with envy at the ease at which some people could whip out the answer.  I was aghast at how much some of them could care so much about what I thought was a stupid math problem.  I mean really- passion over math?  "Mathorgasims"?  EW!

When it actually came to the teaching of Math Studio I was lost a lot.  Math Habits of Mind?  Math Habits of Interaction?  Slowly, though as I started implementing some of the concepts it began to make sense.  ( I think they must know that and hence the 3 year grant to teach it.)

Now these concept permeates every aspect of my teaching.  Each year more and more has made sense to me.  Let the children talk.  Questioning strategies.  Select and sequence. Perseverance and stuck points.  Explain your thinking.  Private Reasoning Time. Granting Status.  Public Records.  Connections.   Multiple Pathways.

Along the way I started noticing things happening to my students.  Six and Seven year olds able to explain their reasoning, critique and debate each other, re-voice, and make conjectures and generalizations and defend them.  They went from rolling around on the floor like puppy dogs to actively being engaged and responsible for their learning.  One of the best moments was them using a math poster to explaining something in reading. I am a much better teacher because of Math Studio.

I changed myself.  At first I knew I would never really be comfortable calling myself a mathematician.  I wasn't going to be any good at it.  I knew Math Studio was not going away at my school either.  I had a choice,

 "Get the hell out of Dodge."

 or submit myself in all my vulnerability to learning how to teach math the Math Studio way.

So submit I did.  I opened myself up to all the coaching I could get as painful as it was for me.  It helped that I had an awesome math coach and some really good math instructors.  I may have cried in the bathroom a lot and written bloody poems in numbers, but I did learn.  It started showing up in my teaching.

I'm probably never going to be a whiz bang at math.  I probably will never have a "mathorgasim" over a math problem.  I can appreciate numbers and their puzzles, and I see it reflected in all of nature.  My students love math time, and I can truly say from my class there will not be a child that will hate math.

I've come from sniveling in the bathroom to asking questions with a confidence and aplomb.  It shows in my teaching and in my students.  So much so that I was asked if the elementary principals could come in and take data snaps in my room today.  I said yes.  It may have not been "perfect" but 

"I've come a long way, baby!"


I got some great poems out of all that math too!


http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2012/06/intersect.html


http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2012/06/math-studio-musings-or-here-we-go-again.html

http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2012/03/fractions.html

http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2011/10/mapping-love.html

http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2011/07/disequilibrium-in-math.html