Math Studio, 3 years later

I have written a lot about math studio.  Nothing has stirred up so much anguish and learning in my life than math studio.  Math sends my brain into a downward spiral that usually results in flee or flight.  It has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  I have had battles and struggles of gigantic proportions to just keep myself fairly calm.

The first day of math studio 3 years ago found me hiding in the bathroom crying.  Since then I've cried in many a bathroom, under a pine tree, in class, and all over the pages of this blog.  Math does not make me feel warm and fuzzy.  It sends my heart to my throat, panic to my brain, and anger and frustration to the table as I try and work math problems.

With this clouded perception it seems that everyone around me got it, except for me.  I never seemed to have enough think time to figure out a problem.  A lot of the time I never even knew where to start to figure out a problem.  I was choked with envy at the ease at which some people could whip out the answer.  I was aghast at how much some of them could care so much about what I thought was a stupid math problem.  I mean really- passion over math?  "Mathorgasims"?  EW!

When it actually came to the teaching of Math Studio I was lost a lot.  Math Habits of Mind?  Math Habits of Interaction?  Slowly, though as I started implementing some of the concepts it began to make sense.  ( I think they must know that and hence the 3 year grant to teach it.)

Now these concept permeates every aspect of my teaching.  Each year more and more has made sense to me.  Let the children talk.  Questioning strategies.  Select and sequence. Perseverance and stuck points.  Explain your thinking.  Private Reasoning Time. Granting Status.  Public Records.  Connections.   Multiple Pathways.

Along the way I started noticing things happening to my students.  Six and Seven year olds able to explain their reasoning, critique and debate each other, re-voice, and make conjectures and generalizations and defend them.  They went from rolling around on the floor like puppy dogs to actively being engaged and responsible for their learning.  One of the best moments was them using a math poster to explaining something in reading. I am a much better teacher because of Math Studio.

I changed myself.  At first I knew I would never really be comfortable calling myself a mathematician.  I wasn't going to be any good at it.  I knew Math Studio was not going away at my school either.  I had a choice,

 "Get the hell out of Dodge."

 or submit myself in all my vulnerability to learning how to teach math the Math Studio way.

So submit I did.  I opened myself up to all the coaching I could get as painful as it was for me.  It helped that I had an awesome math coach and some really good math instructors.  I may have cried in the bathroom a lot and written bloody poems in numbers, but I did learn.  It started showing up in my teaching.

I'm probably never going to be a whiz bang at math.  I probably will never have a "mathorgasim" over a math problem.  I can appreciate numbers and their puzzles, and I see it reflected in all of nature.  My students love math time, and I can truly say from my class there will not be a child that will hate math.

I've come from sniveling in the bathroom to asking questions with a confidence and aplomb.  It shows in my teaching and in my students.  So much so that I was asked if the elementary principals could come in and take data snaps in my room today.  I said yes.  It may have not been "perfect" but 

"I've come a long way, baby!"


I got some great poems out of all that math too!


http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2012/06/intersect.html


http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2012/06/math-studio-musings-or-here-we-go-again.html

http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2012/03/fractions.html

http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2011/10/mapping-love.html

http://basicallybarb.blogspot.com/2011/07/disequilibrium-in-math.html

More homework- EXIT TASKS

Doubles are 1+1=2, 2-1=1 2+2=4,4-2=2, 3+3=6, 6-3=3....


Yesterday I tried something new with an exit task.  It was actually written into Bridges and I thought since the papers were already ran off, and it was in Number Corner it would work well as an exit task.

Thursday's challenge has been doubles and neighbors.  I had not been consistent in getting to Thursday's challenge because by the end of the week  it is called make up time!

I have been impressed with my students coming back from DI (Differentiated Instruction), from Jessica's class.  We have split our DI time between Math and Language
arts.  Jessica does the math and I do Language Arts.  My students keep bringing up doubles as an addition strategy and I knew I needed to share that with the whole class.

I made it a point to do Thursday's challenges consistently.  Yesterday there was a work sheet on doubles in addition and subtraction.  The instructions called for the teacher to walk around the room interviewing each students way of doing the addition and subtraction.  (Were they using their fingers?  Were they counting on?  Were they using doubles or neighbors to solve the problems?)  I thought this would be a good exit task and show me what I needed to do next with the group.

I was most interested in seeing how the students that were not getting DI in math would do with the doubles.  I had a suspicion that subtraction was going to be UGLY in doubles.  I was hoping addition would show  they were getting it because I had been teaching the Thursday challenges more consistently.

Bad Teacher Moment

Ok, bad teacher moment today:  I am doing number corner and calendar and in walks my math coach and new principal to take a data snap.  We are discussing the new calendar  piece which is a yellow children's crossing sign.  I asked the students what shape it is and I get the answer trapezoid.  Of course I am so focused on what I am doing to "impress" my principal and I go for details of what makes a trapezoid.

First answer I get is it has 5 corners. We discuss this for awhile and I am oblivious to the obvious when all of a sudden I notice my math coach is standing next to me showing me this yellow note.  I'm used to this because she knows I am open to coaching at any time. I look down, confused.  She whispers in my ear,

 "5 sides is a pentagon. "

I'm mortified. It's not a trapezoid, it's a pentagon.

 So gathering my wits I ask the class if they agree that it is a trapezoid?  I get  the thumbs down from a student and ask him why he disagrees with that and why?

(Meanwhile another student points to the poster"Critique and debate")

"I know it is not a trapezoid because it doesn't match the one on the wall."

 I point to the poster "Mistakes and sticking point. Perseverance"  and tell my class that even adults make mistakes and I made a mistake.

Yep that's me -transparent in my instruction.  Just a bit humiliated that I did it in front of my new principal.  But hey it's math studio time and I am used to feeling  humiliated. (My perception- not reality.)

Math studio is messy. It is ugly.  We bare our practise to other adults and de-privitize our practise so our students can learn.  It makes me cry a lot of the time. It is worth it though to see the outcomes with my students.

Girding up my loins for tomorrow's math studio.

Math Studio Homework

Reflections and Connections

What are implications for the culture and character of math talk in your classroom/ school/ district?

Classroom:  I am so excited about the math talk and about developing culture in my room.  I love teaching the children how to use their brains and how to think about thinking! (metacognition)  From my many years of teaching KG I know how much they are capable of and I like seeing it in their eyes, posture, voices, and reactions to each other.  I think too often the KG students are coddled too much.  They are capable of high expectations.

Since I started teaching first grade last year I am even more aware of it.  The first month or so of First grade is teaching that independent thinking and how to have not only mathematical discourse but also social discourse.  It helps distinguish the difference between “I am the teacher and not your mommy.”  Therefore you need too not only learn how to tie your shoes but use your “I” statements to talk to your peers about what is going on socially, and explain why you think the way you do about something and why.  (Justify)

These are such valuable life skills and we do a disservice to our students if we don’t set those high expectations and explain to parents about how their children are capable of it even though they are just 6 years old.

I am thrilled when it all comes together in the classroom.  When everybody is participating and really talking to each other (math reasoning as the authority) you can see the brain grow!  It becomes the normal routine to critique and debate statements made in plenary, small group or pair discussions.  I especially love the feeling of safety in the room because everyone is participating.  I can’t wait to work on status and assign competence to low status students.

I thick implementing more structure through how students pair up and employing the “huddle” will exponentially increase the discourse.  Students pay more attention to the math when they are given opportunities to talk about the math.

The layers of schema now established from my 2 years in math studio has me making more connections to habits of mind and habits of interaction.  I am also thrilled about having 1 year of first grade curriculum under my belt.  It should be easier!  I also keep in mind that it will take 4-5 years to really establish a strong math culture in my room.

I anticipate meeting with my grades level team to lesson plan with Bridges and find multiple entries into math.  I just hope that everything required of us by the district does not cut into what I need to do to grow in teaching mathematics.  I hate being forced to do a quick down and dirty lesson because there is not enough time in the day to do what is required of me.  I hope we have time to plan and plan together.  This will help us in our math talk with each other and the culture between fellow teachers.

School/District

My biggest concern is the teachers that do the “Lone Ranger” scene.  The ones with a fixed mindset and feel their way of teaching is better than what the district has mandated for math curriculum and the culture of math studio.  Students coming in from a classroom in the school or district that have not used Bridges or math studio put a huge burden on the other teachers.  We have to spend so much time teaching a vocabulary and the Habits of Mind and Habits of Instruction.  They don’t know how to participate and it slows the other students down when we have to wait for the other students to catch up with us.  Usually because they don’t know or understand what we are doing in our math talks it leads to boredom and management problems.  It is frustrating to ALL involved!

All that would be solved if teachers would put on the growth mindset hat and do what the research says works- not what they think works.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Trauma in Math Studio

I can say it here, right?  DAMN I hate crying in Math Studio!  I totally lost it again today and I am embarrassed and drained by the emotional turmoil I felt today.  Damn the brain.  Damn the emotions.  Damn the lack of self control.

We started a a math problem yesterday that was a growing pattern in an oddly shaped array.  The perceived math geniuses in my group( high math status)  immediately seemed to go to an algebraic formula.  Me?  I'm looking for the pattern.  I look at it and see 3 different pieces of the array growing.  The middle school and intermediate are seeing array of cubes and rectangles and manipulating the pieces to make sense.  Not me.  I feel stupid and inadequate.

I kept asking them to explain to me how their algebraic formula looked using tiles.  Why didn't the model reflect the formula?  They could not explain it too me so I could understand.  I knew what they were saying I just could not see it in the model representation.

The next day we went back to the discussion.  I kept stating I did not understand and wanted  clarification.  They really tried to explain to me.  I panicked.  I went into fight/flight mode.  A fellow colleague just rubbed me raw.  She rushed my thinking and my brain shut down.  I knew I was downshifting to child but I thought I was using my "I " statements. In my past I would have not said anything.  I thought I was doing well telling her that what she was saying was not helping me.  She seemed so "know it all".  I totally took it wrong and personally.  I used my "I" statements and then fled to the bathroom to cry.

I really wanted to sit in the corner of the bathroom and cry but I kept myself from doing that.  It felt too dramatic.  It wasn't as bad as I was last summer sitting by the tree for an hour sobbing.  This was maybe 20 minutes and then I went back to the room to do the math.

I took all the ideas presented by my group and played with the tiles.  The teacher came by to talk to me and I was able to sob out my explanation of what I was doing.  She directed me to ignore what was so bothering me.  (What would the minus 1 figure look like?  Was it a 4 that stayed the same or  a two?)

With her help I came up with the algebraic formula.

 (n x n) + (n +1) + (n +2).

I spent a good 30 minutes by myself doing the math and it was OK with the instructor.  She let me take the time to make sense of the the math.  I appreciate that very much!

So as soon as I had the child melt down I went straight to adult mode.  In between tears my vocabulary kicked up a notch and I participated in a very rational way.  I also felt very drained and worn out from the emotional turmoil. I compensated by focusing in on what I am good at intellectually.  Or should I say what I feel like I am intellectually good at .  That would be WORDS!

I am always so embarrassed by my child.  She can flip out when threatened and I am so hyper sensitive in math.  More than one person has told me I am too hard on myself.  I am.  It is also very real to me.  I have a difficult time convincing myself I can do the math and I am capable of doing it.

Sometimes I so weary of this battle with my math emotions.  I don't want a fixed mindset anymore with math.  I try very hard to be in the growth mode even when it is so painful too me.  I do persevere.  I work very hard at this.  I take comfort and pride that I do try so hard to do the math.  I never want children to have to go through what I am going through.  It is brutal!  It is extremely painful.  It is my journey.  It is a metaphor for my life.

Tonight we had a meet and greet at the Red Lily winery to meet our new principle. At the vineyard I read my messages from Face book.  The person I had problems with today, did not see that she did anything wrong.  Are we all so unaware of our word, our tone, our voice?  I know it is not just me and my emotional baggage.  I have heard other people speak the same about this person.  It makes me wonder what I don't hear about myself in my interactions with my students and colleagues.

I am emotionally drained.  That is what math does to me.  It sucks at my inner core.  It goes to raw.  I am at my worst with math.  It is a mighty battle for me to go to math studio and remain calm and rational.  I am just a centimeter away from emotional chaos when it comes to math.

I persevere. It is a talent of mine.  It may hurt like hell and strike my inner core, but it is the key to my getting healthy with myself.

Awesome colleagues from Oak Grove!

I also met up with some "Ruch" people from Sterling Creek. Old neighbors.  It was good to reconnect!

The Short bus sisters!

Math Studo- Notes on the brain

Wow!  Things are coming together!  This session of Math Studio is fascinating for me.  It is on equalizing status in the classroom, multidimensionality (the idea that not all students can do everything but everyone will be able to do one.), assigning roles, being responsible for each others learning, assigning competence*, high expectations, effort over ability, and relational Equity.  In fact this class is so rich in information I can only touch upon some of what I am gleaning from reading materials and the teacher.

To help me process this information I'm going to do what helps me the most- write about it.  Hopefully it will help me with new vocabulary and definitions.  I am so excited for the implications of the research, especially the brain research!  I love the brain research!

All along my heart has been with those low status kiddos.  The ones who don't get it.  The ones who don't have much math background.  The ones who can't identify a number after 5 or count to 10 by rote.  They don't have an entry way into grade level problems.  They need much more adult attention and time to play with manipulatives.  It is frustrating for me and them to not be able to do the work that looks so easy to everyone else.

Multidemsionality is the idea that everyone can do some part of the problem.  We need to make sure that "high status " students don't automatically get all the time in the participation and class.  Students who don't get it shut down.  By assigning roles like team captain, supply person,and  recorder I can makes sure  all student participate.

*Assigning competence was a new idea for me.  I like it!.  I can raise the status of the student by praising something they have done in public so the class hears it.  The student feels valued and smart!  It must be public, intellectual, specific, and relevant to the team task.


All of this was from the article, "Opening Our Ideas" by Jo Boaler.

Today's article, Brainology:Transforming Student's Motivation to Learn" by Carol S. Dweck, was fantastic.  It is something I have been reading about lately.  Mainly that our brains are plastic and can be reshaped.  It is not so much the "gifts" or" talents" we are born with but how hard we work or persevere.  It takes practise and hard work to learn anything.  It just does not come easy to anyone.  It just may be more fascinating of a subject area to others and that is what makes it seem like it comes easier to them. It is kind of like the thoughts I had on  creativity.

I may not be a professional artist but I can with practise learn to draw and paint.  The same thing with dance, math, yoga, and writing.  If I work hard and persevere I can learn it.  My brain and body will do it.  This works for our students also,   The mindset that I am not good at math because I am a girl is BS. That is a closed mindset.  With a closed mindset I can't learn anything and I don't even want to try.  (Also called a fixed mindset.)  A growth mindset on the other hand, "believes that intelligence is a potential that can be realized through learning.  As a result, confronting challenges, profiting from mistakes, , and persevering in the face of set backs become ways of getting smarter."

What I hate about going back to school?  I have to stop now and continue tomorrow because I need to finish my homework and go to bed.

Finite

The finite:

all the elements

in a family set—

{you, me, child 1, child 2, child 3 }

The cardinality of 5.

a subset, {you, me}.

Pigeonholes where if n=5

then m means = 4  holes.

What happens to a subset when one leaves?

flies the “coop” so to speak?

Can there be a subset of {1,3,4,5} ?

the nest is empty…

and the homing does not happen.

I am the family of one,

a sub set of 1.

the cardinality of one.

Not by choice…

I am a discrete one,

separate,

distinct now.

the numbers no longer flow,

we are alone in our countability.

And are we real anymore in our family unit?

The subtraction of self from the set

sets to motion

a finite ending .

After all those periods…

 will DNA count for anything?

Will the edge from God to man

make me adjacent to subsets 3, 4, 5,?

It is in the elements…

That edge from God to me,

in His son Jesus Christ,

 is the vertex 

in my life.

In Chronos I can trace the edge

from great grandfathers to me.

Has the edge been broken?

Has the "from generation to generation

 of those who love me"

become the broken set?

The Word does not come back void.

If the Creator created numbers:

 real, whole, rational, irrational, integers, finite and infinite,

then surely He can bring sets

to completion....