Friday, March 28, 2014
I feel empowered this week! I made a list and I'm crossing things off. I took my car in for service. I took Queenie to the vet. I got my taxes done. I unplugged my toilet! I set up Doctor appointments. I got my carpets cleaned. I did things that I never did before and without condemnation. What a beautiful, liberating thing it is to be a responsible, tax paying citizen taking care of her life.
I did not have to listen to criticism for doing things wrong or incorrectly. I did things that needed to be done in a timely fashion. It made me realize the constant criticism I got from Pat. I never did anything correctly. Anybody I chose to do work was condemned and vilified by Pat.
Now it is just me and I did things that needed to be done. I may have flinched a bit because of residual habits of abuse, but I overcame them.
I am not the person I was 5 years ago. I am not beaten down. I like and value myself.
I did not not walk away from my job. I did not fold my cards. I persevered. I stuck to it. I am a beloved child of God.
My sons would not recognize me. I hope someday they will want to meet this person I have become. I hope someday they recognize the gifts I gave to them: God, hope, love, and a life worth living.
Meanwhile, I will continue to rebuild my life.