That's that then

I guess that is it.

Selection test

So I think acting out the vocabulary words and doing my sight word rap really helped this time for the test.  We also did some Reader's theatre with "Tippy Toe Chick"!  So it seemed like more passed the comprehension part of the test.  It was fun!  We all had a good time!

It made up for the independent research done by the kids this week.  Independent does not really describe most first graders.  I don't know how I am ever going to get some of them to do their speech when they can't even read their own writing or remember what they wrote!  I need to clone myself about 10 times to get to all my students to help them.

Then I painfully led a small group through counting in 2's using unifix cubes.  A couple of "a ha" moments for some of them and they were able to complete the chart independently .  I have 1 student that can't do any of it and I really don't know what to do about it.


So go toward the door.  Freeze.  Come along!

Thursday

I got my self evaluation done.  It is strange to write about oneself.  It is also strange to read the district's criteria.  It's a fine line.  I know what I am good at inside my brain but is that how I am perceived?  Oh well, it is done!  If it is not what is wanted then Im sure I will be informed.

Feeling all disjointed today and anxious.  I have my homework somewhat done for math studio.  I take it all so seriously and I get so bothered by people who don't take it seriously or think their way is the only way too teach.  Is it just their insecurities talking?  They bother me in their judgements. Or am I so naive that I believe the research?

I'm down another 1/2 pound.  So that makes it a 1 1/2 to goal.  But it is the weekend and I have 1 eating event to go to.  I need to be vigilant.

I have not been able to do any of my practices.  Did it just happen that way or did I plan it to happen this way?  I don't know.  I do know I had things I needed to do.  I also know I needed to be distracted.  So maybe Im not ready for mindless TV and books.  I need to be distracted and kept busy.  There are too many things that weigh heavy on my mind and heart.

So I go forth.  Hurting.  But going forward,  Up the mountain...  Or as our vocabulary word says: toward...
and as I told my students,
" Go toward the door. Freeze. What is behind you?  Come along..."

Really?

Do people really read this in Russia and Latvia?  Really?!

Practises

Well, it is not happening.  Blame it on the job today.  I spent all my class prep time getting my math studio homework done.  Then came home and walked the dogs.  After that it was back to studio work.  I can't do it all.  As hard as I try I cannot get everything done for my job.  I feel so guilty for not being able to get it done.  If I do get it done I don't think it is quality work.  There are not enough hours in the day to do my job as well as I would like to.

My self evaluation is due Friday.  I did some notes on it but it is not typed and ready to go.  I will have to just do a hatchet job on it and be glad it is done.  I am tired of this learning curve.

Once again I have to admit I am going into my room tomorrow glad that I spent 3 hours on Sunday in my room.  I can't wait for the day I feel comfortable enough to not have to go in on weekends.

I think what I hate the most is that I love what I do but can't spend the time I would like to on it.  I would have no life.  I actually enjoy writing on the forum and doing the homework but I sacrifice so much to do it.  It is time away from lesson prep.  Sigh...

They tell us we love our job so that satisfaction should be enough...  Since I have no life now outside my job I can do what I am doing.  But what happens when I want my life back?

mornings

Then sometimes in the mornings I don't like any of them at all....

Lightening bugs in June

Just rejected bits I like:

In August the shooting stars melt
across the sky
like so many Lightening bugs in June
in glass Ball jars.

I wondered
if you could feel
the shooting star heat
radiating outward
from the center,
beating against the glass walls.

The kitchen hums in freezer notes,
yellow pools of light
dangle from string.
Shadows of
kids playing in mud puddles.
We are late night bakers
on a prairie train bound for nowhere...

The scent of mint lives on in my brain
and you are dead in the ground
these many years.
Memories of nuns and Nazis,
Tanguaray gin and shooting stars in August
are all that remain.



Guess that kind of turned into another poem.  No ending though.  I just can't write those endings yet. I think beginnings and endings are the most difficult.

It is the end of my blogging every day but I just craved that contact with my imaginary world out there.