Sunday, April 22, 2012

Memories


Ok I am scanning old family pictures. It is kind of hard to see the family we were when the kids were young. Pat was a good father and husband then. How did it happen that he could change so much? He is not the same man today he was when he was young. I mourn for that man.

The man he is today can not and does not want to change. He is enslaved and the chains just get tighter as he grows older.

I am sad and grieving for the marriage we had at one time,when we worked together to raise our children and be a family. It seemed that after the children all left home there was no reason for him to try anymore. God, knows I tried. I finally ran out of ways to stay with him that were safe and good for me.

I realize now I can only change myself. I cannot change anyone else. That is their journey. I can only keep on working on myself to become healthy in body, mind and spirit. It is a lonely road but something I need to do with God's help and the friends He has provided me with in this lifetime.

In memory of the man I loved, married, and had children with- Patrick John Holtz.


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